i just wanna hold on a bit longer

"It is too late. The evacuation still proceeds, but it’s all theater."
-'The Seventies Now' by Stephen Miller

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I'm packing up the last of my things at my apt and moving home today. It's all stuff that I have taken with me, moved with me, for years now. And yet, as I move once again, I can't help but have this irrational fear that I am somehow losing a whole store of memories that I connect to this place. I realize that memories will last and stay with me wherever I am, but its hard when I know I am losing something that has proven to be a reminder of those events. I have connected so much of this place with my last relationship, with my friends and with my own growth over the past year.

That doorway was where we had our first real kiss.
That was the spot on the floor where I sat when we played spin the bottle.
I made snappy molasses crinkles with Jamie in that kitchen, ate dinner on the floor and talked for hours.
I wrote my play on my bed, on my couch, on my desk, in my kitchen, on my patio.
That's where I wrote the rant that later became Margaret.
That's where I watched the Grind House movies with Dane.
That's where I storyboarded my show from start to finish.
That's where I sent a text using the 'L' word for the first time.
That's the shower I spent nine hours in one day when I had mono, just so i could breathe.
That's the spot where I was sitting when I knew I had to end it.
That spot in the living room was where I slept for a whole month after the breakup.

Sigh... there are so many more... I'll leave those out.

But. I still have those memories. Those events happened, and will stay with me even when I am someplace else. But there seems to be a need in me to hold onto this tangible reminder. This physical tie to a relationship, a play, a party, some words. I am holding on too much. It's time for a move. It's time to let go of reminders.

It's time.