just out of reach

500 days of summer. autumn. summer.

breaking down the broken down. seeing youself on the screen in the weaker character. seeing yourself within the character that can't move on.

but that's the point. they want you to identify with the man. not te girl that has intimacy issues. not the one that gets married without any time for courting. you are expected to identify with the one that does not know how to cope at the end.

and i do. we do.

we know that guy. we see ourselves within his actions. within his thoughts. because we have also put ourselves out there like that. loved someone unconditionally and in return gotten nothing but broken words and empty promisses.

is that all i have gotten? no...

at one point, i was the woman. the girl that was not ready for something serious. i was the one who didn't believe in that word. love. because i had never known it. never felt it. never had those words cross my lips in truth.

but they would.

only it would be too late for them. their death had already passed and they were wandering ellicium.

so the question becomes. why do we all identify with the man? why are we expected to see ourselves in this man who's expectations don't allign with realty? because the world is broken. love is not that simple.

i have loved. but do i know what it's like to be in love? no.

words.................... that's all this comes down to. what are words? labels upon labels of a relationship.

life. love is not that simple.

on tv. mtv kids are trying to become base jumpers on made. jumping off cliffs for the sheer thrill. i need to learn how to do that. to jump off the safety of what i know is true, and throw myself into the unkown. for all i know.... this word.... love... is out there.... floating in mid-air.

no more.

love. a wish. a thought. a prayer.

so much more than i think it will be, and yet just out of reach.